CALAMITY

I need to drink two glasses of wine

just to get on gmail

and sort through all that bullshit

I choose sleep

in any situation

I can’t remember

the last time I was like

‘I need an assault rifle for fun’

we’re not living in a post-racial society

I am so in debt

it’s insane

no one overcame anything ever

they just died

in a different place

than where they were born

we’re trash monsters

monsters of trash

nothing makes

any difference

I am best friends with death

in the way

that you keep your friends close

and your enemies

next to you

in bed

what are the reasons

why you

feel so tense

I think my shoulders are uneven

my whole body is uneven

is it true that

calcium builds up

in your muscles

or something

on one side of my family

we have this trait

of raising our shoulders

up near our ears

out of being tense and stressed

and it looks kind of hilarious

and also I realized in yoga

how not good this is

at many parties

I realize

my bodily functions

hurt and are scary

when do we get to believe

that life is what it is

which is nothing

and it is good and bad

remember remember

the whatever of November

the South lost

The War

I am not being flippant

white supremacy

is still so

unrelenting

civil war

happens constantly

so what happens

when we’re the refugees

and no one

wants to take us in

people have told me

my writing becomes political

way too suddenly

but like

living people

also become dead people

way too suddenly

I guess the point is

what is your point

hey, who here

cares about my experiences

as much I care about

writing about them

I don’t even know

how much I care

about anything

so feel free

to let it all go

someone told me

and a room full of people

that terrorism

and fascism

and liberalism

and all the isms

exist within the same sphere

so none of it works

because of one another

I don’t know what I’m saying

other than

how the hell can this thing

reboot